♥ Happy 19th Birthday to my college bestie, Dane Panganiban
M&M 8:16 PM
♥
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
technically single. yet again.
Yeah. I have been for almost 3 days now.
Masa just gave up on me. I did too. I just had to. There was no way that I could have handled this better. After all, we are never gonna have a proper communication simply because he ain't that kind of person.
I should have seen it.
Lessons learned. Sigh.
Ganito yan "baby" eh. Ang mga panira ng relationships are, yes, jealousy, obsession and sex. Pero hindi lang yun. You totally missed it. What you did, pagtatanim ng galit is more FATAL.
You just weren't that into me. You should have told me. Hindi na dapat ako nag-hirap na ayusin to or nag-effort na magkaron tayong communication as much as possible.
But then, there's nothing I can do anymore to REDEEM myself and I HATE it when that happens. You don't care anymore at all for me anyway.
AS IN WALA NA and I never thought that you could actually be that insensitive.
Ayoko na mag-blog, ang dami kong masasabi that won't mean anything to anybody except me anyway. Plus it's boring na to try to understand whatever it is that I'm saying coz I am rambling and ayoko na ng blog URL ko. Yes, the dangers of naming your possessions after your boyfriend, or in this case, now ex-boyfriend.
So yeah. Here it is:
1 week HIATUS. then I'm moving.
Sigh.
You're so close but still a world away. I should have known. You can't do nothing but talk shit. I loved you, Masa. I really really did.
On a lighter note, ♥ Happy Birthday to Shiela de Dios! I miss you loads. :)
M&M 6:33 PM
♥
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
♥ Happy Birthday to my lola, whom I call my Mama.
M&M 2:34 PM
♥
Monday, February 19, 2007
We've gotta be stuck in some kind of December-February time loop. Since 2005, Masa and I have been going on and off but never from March to November. I am not exaggerating.
As in ka-panahon ng birthday ni HB Cate Castillo.
WEIRD.
Hay I'm so tamad to blog about the other day.
Tomorrow na.
♥ Happy 19th Birthday Cate Castillo!
M&M 2:35 PM
♥
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Okay. I'mma make this quick.
About Sam's debut...
Late ako. Ako ang gown alalay niya. Photographer niya. Photographer ni Jaloy. Videographer ni JM. PR eklat ni Sam for her guests na kilala ko. Proxy ni Clarie for her 18 Memories speech. Shempre 18 Memories din ako. Umaga nako umuwi. Badtrip ako. Hindi natuloy after party, badtrip ako ulit. Napagalitan ako ni Mom. Masakit paa ko at leg muscles sa taas ng heels ko. Thirsty ako kasi puro choco fondue kinain ko. Umiyak ako.
I haven’t slept. Sam’s debut is in less than 10 hours and no matter how many times I’ve told myself to keep the eye bags from camping under my eyes today, I’m still unable to get enough sleep, and at the right time.
Although this time I have a valid reason for not being able to doze off. Last night when I called Sam to greet her a Happy Birthday she told me din that Masa talked to her. Again. Apparently it seems that he has given up. Just like that. Although when asked whether or not he’s going to break up with me his answer’s just, “Hindi ko alam ang labo ko.” Yeah it’s that “It’s not you, it’s ME” shits. And I thought that wasn’t in anymore. Anyway, that explains the absence of text replies or his ignorance towards my calls daw, ‘coz wala na shang mukhang ihaharap sakin or something to that effect.
One word: chicken.
It’s not like I’ve yelled at him before or anything. If there’s anybody who should be scared of whom in this relationship it should be me. I’ve been so cautious of what came out of my mouth and what I did ever since we had our first fight kaya it’s just so SILLY to be scared of me. Anyway, I’m sure he knows that and this leads us/me to a distressing hypothesis: he’s decided to let go but doesn’t know how to deal. What’s more is that he turned to somebody else yet again instead of dealing with me directly.
He might not even be at Sam’s debut tonight, he says. God. Not the perfect way to deal. Not only is he disappointing me but also the people who are expecting him to be there. It’s a wonder how Sam’s even taking this lightly.
I told him that if he doesn’t show up at the party tonight, it would mean that he’s completely given up on me and/or all hope that this is ever gonna work pa. And then I won’t have anything to do with him at all anymore.
It looks like I’m handling this really well after all, yeah? But why have I been unable to sleep at all then? Sure, this time I’m finally thinking rationally and acting upon it as well which really keeps me sane yet the old feelings of disappointment and heartbreak have again resurfaced. Or, no, it will remain after all.
I’m hearing the same ripping sounds that used to haunt me.
Seriously ang sakit ng chest ko kanina, or should I say my hypothalamus. I cried to relieve the literal and figurative pain.
You’ve scathed my half-healed wounds. (Just when I thought that) I/my heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with. And just like how it was with my tongue piercing, re-wounding hurts more.
You can’t not say anything just because it would hurt me. Even if we’re not what we used to be, you still have to be completely honest with me.
Happy 1st/2nd supposed Monthsary to US.
M&M 10:19 AM
♥ The LOOKs
Ma. Virginia Margeaux Velasquez Navarro (whew!)
Mae, Maemae
Female, 18, In a Relationship ♥
Give me presents on the 11th of July
I'm a/an Sophomore at Miriam college OSY which is cool.
